Dr Ashley Ng

Sometimes I get weird looks when I say that I am grateful for my diabetes. That’s not to say I don’t have my bad days where I hate diabetes or that living with diabetes is easy. I have learned to take those into stride and focus on being grateful that diabetes has given me perspective and purpose.

Time and time again, this valuable learning has popped up; most recently in a Women in Leadership Program I took part in. We were asked to reflect on one thing we were proud of in our job and why we’re doing this program. It was only then did I realise how far I’ve come. From “just a person with diabetes” to an advocate and researcher. I see my role and my purpose as to connect the different stakeholders in the diabetes community together to improve our healthcare system for the pancreatically challenged. I have a unique blend of expertise that I’ve worked hard at and I’m proud of where I am now.

Yet underneath that, lies my friend, the imposter syndrome, who constantly sits on my shoulder and whispers sweet nothings into my ear, putting me back in place anytime I get a crazy idea or a good feeling. So, I guess, that was my “why” for doing this Leadership program – to learn strategies on dealing with that imposter syndrome.

Over the three days, I valued the time of self-reflection. We reflected on what our leadership strengths and weaknesses were, what leadership attributes we valued from our role models and how do we become the leader we see ourselves as while juggling life’s demands.

It was extremely validating to hear other women share their wisdom, experiences, struggles and strategies around integrating their young families into their careers. The power of peer support never fails. My biggest takeaway here was to let go of the guilt and focus on quality time with our loved ones. As parents, we are the ones that carry the guilt of not being there for our kids all the time. The fact is that they probably won’t remember every detail like we will. They will remember the key moments – just like how I remember my mum and dad never missing my kinder concerts and mum taking me to all my swim training sessions and meets. So be there for them, the best we can and don’t sweat the small stuff.

We were reminded of the importance of self-care and investing in yourself – a concept that diabetes has forced upon me. I reflected on what I schedule in my calendar that are just for me and to shush the guilt for taking time for them. Then there’s personal development stuff like identifying the factors that stop me from moving forward or having difficult conversations. I was also grateful for the recommendation of Blinkist to give me key summaries of an array of self-help books before deciding which one to take a deep dive into.

Finally, there’s “knowing your why” or understanding your purpose, which diabetes has again kindly provided. Since my diagnosis my “why” has always been driven by making sure that young adults with diabetes never have to go through what I went through from diagnosis to adjusting to life with diabetes. I want them to be well supported, informed, confident to ask questions and explore management tools for their diabetes. Research is only one angle to approach this. The advocacy piece is another that I have identified I need to work on more.

So while diabetes sucks, I choose to count my blessings. I choose not to sulk about the pancakes (though my husband will tell you differently). I choose to use my experience and skills to better support the diabetes community. I’m good at what I do and I’ve earned my place here. I choose to see the silver lining of my diabetes.