Dr Ashley Ng

Recently, I’ve had to say goodbye to a few people who had a significant impact on my life. As I reflected on their lives, one thing connects them together – their passion for their work and the careers that they had. It is a very timely thing to think about as I enter the final year of my contract and look into my options. Funnily enough, I have been having having these conversations since I left ongoing academic job. That’s one of the fun things that comes with contract work is that you never quite know where the next role will take you.

I remember speaking to a professor a few years ago at a conference who confessed to me that they were still trying to figure out what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was floored. I thought, “surely a professor would’ve gotten it all figured out by now”. But I guess sometimes, we drift through life, going through the motions, thinking that there must be something else out there. Yet, maybe we don’t have the brain space, time, or financial luxury to be able to figure out what that is.

A friend asked me the other day “if I could have any job in the world, what would it be?”. I struggled to answer. Maybe what I’m looking for isn’t a job. Maybe I need to change my approach to this. A mentor once said to us in an early career research workshop to think about the legacy we want to leave behind and how our friends and family will remember us. And I quite liked that thinking and reminder. In research, we’re drilled to think about how our work will impact others and bring benefit to the community. Sometimes we pursue this to the detriment of our relationships with loved ones.

So what is it that I’m looking for? Maybe it’s work that I find fulfilling, while allowing for time with my family and friends. Within that work, I have a few blue sky ideas. I should probably narrow that down to one. But is this what I should be focusing on and breaking that down into smaller steps? Would I be happy if I just worked on other people’s projects that I find interesting? Do I go back down to basics with a list of things that I enjoy doing and things that I don’t?

I feel like the answer is close, but I haven’t quite nailed it yet. And it frustrates me to no end. In the meantime, I’ve chosen to select opportunities that allow me to upskill and hone my craft. I’m also lucky that I have an amazing network of people I catch up with regularly to act as a sounding board and provide some suggestions. And this is also why you should never underestimate the power of building relationships as you never know what doors they may open for you.

And so the gears in my brain continue to grind to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I keep chasing shiny projects, hopefully with slightly more strategy moving forward. Maybe one day I will have an epiphany and realise my blue sky dream.