Dr Ashley Ng

A few months ago, I was feeling pretty low. My diabetes wasn’t playing nice and my body and self confidence felt non-existent. Combined, they started to send me on a bit of an emotional spiral. I tried doing the positive self-talk, focusing on what my body is capable of rather than how it looks and the mindfulness strategies. I felt pretty stuck.

What pulled me out of the rabbit hole (or rather who), was my endo. I don’t know how he does this, but my endo has this magic power to turn the bleakest facts into some sort of motivation to do better. He presented me with the facts – my A1c is the highest it’s been since I’ve started seeing him over 10 years ago. My weight has also been the highest it’s been since…forever. Both things play on each other via insulin resistance. I’m also the busiest and most stressed I’ve ever been, with two young kids and trying to revive my research career. There’s been limited mental and phyiscal capacity to get everything done. Understandably all of this contributes to me feeling like rubbish.

Deep down, I inherently knew all of this. But hearing it from someone else, especially my treating doctor, somehow landed differently. I think it was the way he validated everything that was happening in my life without any judgement. At the same time, he allowed me to rant on about all the strategies and troubleshooting I’ve been doing on my own. From time to time he might nudge me down a particular thought or strategy to focus on. Other times, he would just listen. At the end, he summarised what I had said, adding that I’m already doing a great job.

On one hand, I was slightly annoyed – because I felt like I had done all the work with little input from him. On the other hand, I knew he was right. It was good to hear that I’m on the right track and it gave me a bit more motivation and confidence to keep at it. We openly discussed different medication options should things continue to go sideways by my next appointment. At no point did he use a change in medication as a threat.

So now it’s really up to me to buckle down and focus on my health. I listened to my gut that told me to go back to my old insulin pump. I’m trying different ways to stay active that works for me and my family. Mostly, I’m trying to embrace (again) the need to slow down and find my own pace rather than trying to do it all. With that comes the ability to be flexible and knowing that if today doesn’t go my way, tomorrow is a new day to start afresh and try again.