Living in the Moment

Published by

Ashley Ng

on

July 8, 2022

The past couple of weeks have really tested the extent of how far my patience and resilience can be stretched as we all transitioned into our roles and routines with a toddler and a newborn. It’s certainly been challenging and I know everyone means well when they say “things will get better soon” but that is probably the last thing I need to hear right now.

At one of the maternal child health (MCH) nurse visits, the nurse was especially perceptive and noticed my frustration at this expression. Although perhaps it was my audible sigh after she said it. To her credit, she quickly turned around and said that she understood that living in these moments isn’t easy, especially when you’re sleep deprived. Then she said “you don’t have to do this alone, we are here to support you” before rattling off various support referrals she will make for us in case we felt we needed it.

I had never been so appreciative for a MCH nurse as I was in that moment. It made me reflect on the advice we give others and how statements like “it’ll get better” isn’t really helpful when you’re in the middle of a tornado. Yes, we put hope into the idea that things will get better, but they might not if we don’t get the support and help we need as we are fighting our battles.

I am so grateful for friends and family who have offered to drop a meal off, send us a little care package or just listen to me vent and ramble. Thank you for letting me live in my fourth trimester bubble haze without the pressure to emerge on the other side to when “things get better”. There will always be new challenges that lie in the pursuit of greener pastures. This has been a good reminder that living in the moment isn’t just for all the good times, but for riding out the tough times too and to let yourself feel all the feels.

One day we will look back to this moment and think “wow that was such a crazy time. But also remember we had that movie night in bed eating crackers, watching Man Vs Bee until midnight cos the toddler wouldn’t sleep. That was nice”.

One response to “Living in the Moment”

Rick Phillips

July 9, 2022

Carly Simon sings a great song called Anticipation. One lyric is “These are the good old days”. Then it repeats “these are the good old days”. I often sang that song to me when our sons were little. Were the good Old days? Well maybe. But what I do know about those days is that I will never get to go back.

Your family is doing great I am sure. An remember when it gets tough. These are the good old days. Take this weekend and let some stress roll off, they mean well, and oh they are so darn annoying. but try to even savor that, and remember someday you will get to say it will get better. Which will annoy someone else. This is how you earn the right to say that in 20 years. These are the good old days.

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Dr Ashley Ng